waiting

it's not much fun, this waiting thing i am doing. waiting to hear if i have gotten into school...which, incidentally, looks less promising as the days go by. waiting to move into our new house...waiting to close...waiting to hear if we will close next week or if we will have to...you guessed it...wait some more. i am trying desperately to be patient during this time...i am trying to learn something from this very painful process...but it is so very hard. there is so much riding on my acceptance to school...or not...and if it's "not" i have to begin to formulate a plan b. i hope not to have to use that as i do not relish the idea of putting off school for yet another year. i'm not getting any younger. and i would like to start increasing the size of my family before the age of 35...

so for now, i'm waiting and hoping that things will come together as they seem to have done so much in recent months...well...until recently. now it's just...paralyzing.